Struggling to Find Balance? Self-Doubt Might be Costing you Time
You’ve tried time-blocking, prioritisation apps, and productivity hacks, but you still feel stretched thin. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to manage your workload, stay on top of house chores, and enjoy quality time with your family. You can’t help but wonder how other working Mums manage to hold it all together.
But what if time management wasn’t the issue? What if you were already a highly organised woman who just needs a little boost of confidence? In this blog, I’ll explain how self-doubt can quietly steal hours from your day and get in the way of the balance you’ve been working so hard for.
When self-doubt is wasting your time
In my career, there have been many times when I could have saved hours (if not days) by simply trusting myself a bit more. Here are a few examples, let’s see if you can relate.
I once waited for months before sending a simple meeting request to discuss job opportunities. Why? Because I spent hours researching the company, perfecting my CV, and preparing answers to every possible question they might ask. In hindsight, all of that preparation was unnecessary, the meeting turned out to be very casual.
I used to spend countless hours rehearsing every single line of a presentation and obsessing over perfect slides, convinced I was terrible at public speaking and would freeze if I didn’t know exactly what to say. But it turns out that when I had a six-month-old baby and zero time to rehearse, I didn’t freeze at all, and the presentation was very well received.
And of course, I’ve spent hours redrafting every single line of my writing, worrying that my words aren’t quite right (which now takes the form of asking ChatGPT to rephrase things over and over). And you guessed it, version #21 is rarely better than version #2.
All of these examples have one thing in common: self-doubt. As a working Mum, you already have a lot on your plate, yet you might still find yourself overthinking, overpreparing, and aiming for perfection. You rewrite the email, rehearse the conversation, or tweak that presentation for hours… not because you're not capable, but because you're unsure. This constant second-guessing steals your time, drains your energy, and throws you off balance. Letting go of perfection and learning to trust yourself is a powerful step toward reclaiming control over your schedule and creating some breathing space.
When lack of confidence makes your override your priorities
Boundaries are essential for protecting your time. But let’s be honest, setting them isn’t always easy. If you have people-pleasing tendencies, you probably know how uncomfortable it can feel to express a boundary, and how challenging it can be to uphold it when someone crosses the line. Think back to the past few weeks: how many times have you said yes out of fear of letting someone down?
That’s where confidence comes in. Someone confident might simply say no to an unnecessary meeting so they can focus on bigger priorities (like that huge work project that could lead to a promotion). But if you’re prone to self-doubt, you might worry that turning down the meeting will upset the other person or ruin future opportunities for collaboration or growth.
Your self-confidence levels also affect your ability to stwitch off from work and be mentally and emotionally present at home. Stop for a moment and ask yourself: What’s the real reason why you’re stuck to your phone, replying to emails, instead of being fully engaged in a game with your kids? Is it because you’re scared of being fired if you don’t reply immediately? Or worried your colleagues will think less of you? Or that you might be the one slowing the project down? Some of these concerns might be valid (especially if your workplace culture is highly demanding or unhealthy). But at the core, confidence helps you trust that what you achieve during your working hours is enough and valued.
When you believe in your worth, you no longer feel compelled to prove it constantly. You begin to prioritise what truly matters, without guilt, without fear, and with much more peace of mind.
Boost your confidence to reclaim your balance
Here are a few tips to help ease self-doubt so you can reclaim your time and create some much-needed breathing space:
Develop awareness. Reflect on what might be costing you time. Is it a lack of boundaries? An inability to say no, which leads you to take on more than you can handle? Or a paralysing fear of making mistakes that has you checking and rechecking everything a thousand times? Noticing the pattern is the first step toward changing it.
Clarify your priorities. Write down your values and identify the actions that align with them. The things that matter most to you should come first, even if that means saying no to tempting, but less meaningful, opportunities. The more you trust your judgment, the easier it is to politely decline what doesn’t feel right.
Monitor your self-talk. Make sure you speak to yourself the same way you would speak to a friend. And if you often struggle with guilt or other uncomfortable emotions, you might find my blog post Getting Rid of Mum Guilt One Thought at a Time helpful; it’s packed with gentle, supportive strategies
Challenge perfectionism. The next time you feel the urge to review your slides for the 32nd time, pause and ask yourself if you truly need that much preparation. Embrace good enough and trust the process (easier said than done, I know!). If you're looking to loosen perfectionism’s grip with a bit of humour, check out my Imperfect Bingo Game.
If you remember just one thing from this blog, let it be this: better work-life balance isn’t something easily fixed with a new planner. It requires you to trust yourself. The good news is that confidence is a muscle you can build!
Looking to build more confidence? I’m here to help.
Book a free 30-minute Zoom call here to explore how I can best support you.